FYI: There will be no posts for the next few days. I am working on a major trend piece for the new decade titled “Looking Back To Look Forward.” I’ll be reviewing trends and culture shifts from the last five years to see what they hint at for the upcoming decade.

Now back to why my new iPhone is the worst

Where do I even start?

I’ve never had an iPhone that is so glitchy and keeps lagging and freezing. Most annoying is that this bad boy of a phone generally works perfectly well every time I complain about it while standing next to my tech guru, Jamie Dwyer! Isn’t that just maddening?

Overall, the worst thing is how SLOW the phone is, e.g., I just went on settings to check my software updates. It took a full 2 minutes of spinning to finally tell me that my software was up to date (pic upper left).

Additionally, my previous iPhone 7 would automatically switch to LTE if wifi was not available. Not so with iPhone 11 – I get messages galore about needing to be on wifi for it to work. And then refusing to let me get on LTE.

Apps are also taking an inordinate amount of time to open. I feel like I’ve gone back 20 years in terms of speed and efficiency.

All the issues (below) are minor when taken individually but in totality, they make for an extremely frustrating experience:

• Slow to open apps
• Butting in on what I’m doing and asking the exact same question over and over, e.g., whether I want Citizen app to use my location (see pic above) even after I’ve “allowed” dozens of times. Shouldn’t it have learned by now?
• Slow to show that an email has been seen, e.g., I’ll click on an email but it will continue to show the email as unread. Even if I delete it, it continues to show as an unread email – for minutes!
• The phone only wants to work with WiFi. It won’t automatically switch to LTE, e.g., on the subway.
• Camera freezes
• Very slow to let me power off
• Sound switches on/off randomly
• Keeps asking for location and GPS is often just plain wrong

Bottom Line.

It’s as though this phone is trying to be my meditation teacher – it wants me to slow way down.

And when it’s not getting me to slow down, it just nags me.

If my phone were a person, I would steer clear.

The only good thing about the phone is the battery. It never runs out and it also recharges phenomenally fast. Beyond that, it’s a glitchy, slow mess. Being an Apple customer is becoming tiresome.

Tim Cook, are you listening? I know you can do better than this.

And that’s it until later this week when I’m back with trends and other predictions for the upcoming decade.

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I previously wrote about this in May 2018 (Sh*t Just Got Real. Tech Bubble In Meltdown). It’s worth a re-read because it’s doubly true now.

Over the course of the last year, there have been an inordinate number of half-baked startups being launched or preparing to IPO. Notables include WeWork, Uber, Wag, Peloton, Blue Apron, and e-scooter companies Lime and Bird.

What has become abundantly clear is that while having the right technology is an important part of the equation, it’s not enough on its own.

And that’s especially true for on-demand services where reliable, trustworthy people are crucial for success. What many startups are discovering is that finding those people in a gig economy (that they’ve helped to create) is nigh impossible.

What’s also clear is that many startups have not made one red cent and are nowhere near being profitable. It hasn’t been a priority – and why should it be when no matter how much money you lose, more money gets tossed your way?

Too many consumer-tech companies nearing their public offerings are selling magic shows at a science fair.

Derek Thompson, The Atlantic

The startup business model is no longer about bootstrapping. It’s all about creating high-level hype around a disruptive idea. And if a charismatic founder is involved, all the better. It makes raising stupid amounts of VC money easy as pie.

Surprisingly, it’s only been twelve years since this craziness started.

I date it to the iPhone launch in 2007 when apps first became a thing.

Two years later, in 2009, Uber’s app-based, on-demand service launched and we were off to the races. After that, every startup wanted to be the Uber of this, or the Uber of that.

Gradually, the disappointments started to pile up.

Over the last two years, Silicon Valley and its unicorns started to feel toxic, especially post-election. They have yet to recover.

So here we are in 2019 and it’s fair to say “the bloom is off the rose” and “the chickens are coming home to roost.”

Read on below for the two biggest challenges facing tech startups today.

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Three robot sightings in one week means it’s a bona fide trend, right? I know robots have been around forever but to run into three on my routine walks around town is a first for me.

First sighting. Walking home one night, I was stopped in my tracks by the above robotic beauty at Zhen Wei Fang, a flashy new hot pot spot around the corner from me on the Bowery. The restaurant’s doors were wide open, and of course, a humanoid robot catches your attention. She (the robot) primarily speaks Mandarin but the human hostess coerced her into wishing me Merry Christmas in English.

Second sighting. A few days later, I walked by the HSBC Bank on Houston Street and noticed it too had a robot greeter. He’s called Pepper and he is a very friendly, modest fellow. He bows, he’ll tell you his name if you ask and he’s eager to be helpful but he has limited skills. See the video of our interaction below.

Third and final sighting. I saw Tokyo Pop Underground at Jeffrey Deitch’s art gallery on Wooster Street. The highlight was Hajime Sorayama’s Sexy Robot_Floating (pics below).

Bottom Line.

The robots are here and they are highly Instagrammable. Beyond that, their usefulness appears limited but they do get people’s attention so that may be enough.

Scroll down for photos and video.

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It’s been one of my favorite apps until this week, when it got an “upgrade” and went to hell in a handbasket.

My friend and I were discussing it and we couldn’t figure out why they were making these really weird UX choices.

For example: Getting rid of the red dots (where a crime was happening!) and replacing them with white squares, while functionally the same, definitely makes it less exciting psychologically.

They’ve also gotten rid of many of the “alerts” – I now get maybe one a day when I used to get several every hour. I’ve checked my settings and I want them all! They’ve also jumbled up the timeline so you no longer see the most recent activities.

It’s as if they don’t want us to be engaged with their app. I mean I used to check it once or twice an hour. Now, I don’t bother. Nothing going on according to them. It’s almost as though Bill DeBlasio became an investor and has asked them to dial it down.

Then, of course, as one does, my friend started checking out the company on LinkedIn to see who might be behind this so-called “performance improvement.”

And here’s what he uncovered:

• They have a new creative Director since last month who came from HQ (the online trivia game we were all obsessed by a few years ago)
• Besides HQ, he also has content production experience from having worked at Pop TV, Adult Swim, and The Onion – clearly more of an entertainment-background than crime-fighting.
• Their current head of design has jumped around a lot but primarily worked at some fairly under the radar startups.
• Their head of product comes from Facebook where he spent at least 6 years – so he should know better!
• They’re currently looking for a User Experience Researcher which I suggest they make priority #1 before they screw it up any further.

For those of you not familiar with Citizen it is a crime and safety app directly tied to 911 calls. It was first available in San Francisco and NYC. They’ve expanded to Los Angeles, Baltimore, and Philadelphia.

Bottom Line.

It looks like they’re planning an entertainment push. Their recent hires seem way more aligned with TMZ than crime reporting.

It’s a bit unfortunate because I’ve turned everyone I know onto Citizen. We all find it very useful – especially as our so-called “safest big city in America” returns to the bad old days of crime run amok.

Sigh ☹️

Scroll down for before and after pics.

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