I’ve written about this before. It’s probably my worst habit. I interrupt, I don’t listen, I jump in before people have finished their sentences.

I even interject before people finish their questions to me. I need to get a grip on myself because I absolutely don’t intend to be disrespectful to others and this is a godawful habit.

This recent article from entrepreneur.com might help. It’s specifically geared at speakers who need to become better at listening to audience members when they are posing questions but I think it will help me with listening in general.

The writer, Stacey Hanke, provides some great recommendations and I find these three sentences especially meaningful:

• Prioritize listening to understand, not to be understood.
• Commit to making your interactions about the needs of others.
• Being an intentional listener will help you hear what’s being said — and perhaps even what’s not.

 

Read on below for more of Stacey Hanke’s do’s and don’ts when it comes to developing better listening skills.

Do:

• Communicate that you are open and willing to take questions.
• Connect with the questioner’s eyes to show you are listening.
• Before you respond, pause to give yourself time to think on your feet.
• When communicating with two or more people, begin by directing your first two sentences to the questioner. Then continue presenting your answer to everyone.
• Answer only what has been asked. This avoids getting off track and confusing listeners.
• Maintain composure, remain calm and answer with poise and dignity.
• Take notes on what’s being asked.

Don’t:

• Begin your response with a non-word such as “well,” “basically,” “actually” or “to be honest.”
• Begin your answer with “but” or “however.” These words communicate, “You are wrong and I am right.”
• Raise your voice, speak with an aggressive tone or invade the questioner’s space while answering the question.
• Say “good question” — it comes across as trying to buy time to consider the answer.
• Repeat the questions, unless you sincerely need clarification.

Clarify when:

• The question is unclear.
• The questioner asks several questions. You will need to prioritize and determine which question you will answer first.
• The questioner makes a statement and you are unsure if she/he is looking for a response or only voicing their opinion.

 

Bottom Line.

If you are a friend of mine and you are reading this, I give you permission to nudge me, kick me or otherwise make it clear to me that I am interrupting you and I am clearly NOT listening to what is being said to me.

This is a habit I am asking you all to help me to break this year!!